those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize