the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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