i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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