Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize