He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
