Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
