bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
