the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize