He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
