I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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