And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
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NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
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It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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