I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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