just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
