i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
