so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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