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508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Randomize
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