Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
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Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS