I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize