His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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