so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
