I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
