never play flip cup with pint glasses
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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