And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
