you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She even gives head with a lisp.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
