I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
