So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Even my vagina gasped.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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