I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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