Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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