we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
