Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
