as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
