seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Randomize
