so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
