It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
