Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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