make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
