i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
