I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
