so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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