Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The Olympian is in my bed
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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