im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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