I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
