i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
