Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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