i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
