I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I want her autograph on my taint
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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