Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
