Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
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You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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