May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
