Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize