wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
