I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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