No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
