there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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