Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
