I bet he comes in French.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize