Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
