Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
