i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
