i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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