i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
