I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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